Mr. Diggles & You » webtrends

new york noise

mr. diggles — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 23:21:20 +0000

whenever i go to new york for work, webtrends always puts my in times square – which is a total panic attack. i guess if you have never seen it then it would be amazing but much like going to las vegas over and over it tends to lose the sparkle.

anyways, i thought i would share a few pics i snapped with my phone since i have been on the road and haven’t posted in a few days.

the last one if my favorite for so many reasons.

two years at webtrends

mr. diggles — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 18:20:31 +0000

august 19th has traditionally been a very positive day for me. i started at webtrends today 2 years ago. god it was stressful. i had been given this position on the leadership team in the marketing department to run the web for the company. since i had never worked in a corporate environment it took me like 2 months just to start to understand wtf half the acronyms were. i remember being in a meeting and saying does anyone notice how fucking retarded we sound? – and my boss at the time, jascha, said you will learn that this is just the way it is… – and he couldn’t have been more right.

i worked in the marketing department for 1 year to the day. candidly speaking it was pure frustration. the analogy i used throughout the year was this: imagine someone asking you to move a salt shaker from one point in the room to another. you look at it thinking i have moved things before, this is going to take no time at all – well just before you go to grab it they knock it over allowing all the salt to pour on the floor and while you are trying to put it back in the shaker people keep walking through the pile. so the whole time you are placing salt back in the shaker all you can think about is how easy this should be and how your time is being wasted.

that being said, i never completed what i was hired to do and to this day the project is still not done. the shaker, if you will, remains on the floor. this is not a tragedy of webtrends but rather a tragedy of the corporate world. enterprise = slow, expensive and dated. very few people want to take risks and try new things and almost all problems are solved with technology microsoft technology.

well on august 19th of 2010 i started a new role in sales which later turned into business development. my role this last year has been to build relationships with agencies and inform them on what webtrends products can do to help them on their social and mobile measurement strategy. this was also a very stressful move but one of the best decisions i have ever made. i love it. mostly because i get to work with my close friend elizabeth who is not only fun to work with but she knows how to get shit done.

when i started the new role i naturally brought my web passion to the table and said we should start a website that helps us sell the vision of the channel as well as glorifies those we work with. when i started pitching this around the org i kept hearing no, no, no, we need to rope that into an enterprise IIS environment, no, no, 9 months, no, no… so with the support of elizabeth and justin kistner i said fuck yalls to everyone and decided to build it out on my own watch. i registered and hosted the domain on my personal account and fired up webtrendsagency.com which was nominated for a web visionary award and has brought us a ton of value. oh and for the record, it took less than 30 days to complete from concept to deploy. and now our channel is pumpin’!

i also wanted to mention that august 19th also marks the day when we launched the very first db clay website. this screenshot below is not from the launch day but it is from the original site which also brought us a ton a value. we didn’t fuck around.

we’ll see what the next year brings. i have a few aces up my sleeves and i have no doubt that personal growth will continue.

thank you to everyone who has given me the chance to prove myself. i do know what it takes to get stuff done – i just need the chance. and if i am not offered the chance, i will create it myself… even if it pisses you off.

50k page views on i am audi

mr. diggles — Tue, 24 May 2011 19:03:53 +0000

today we breached our goal of getting to 50k page views on iamaudi.com which was one of our original goals. the recent version 3 redesign of the home page is what made it happen. we doubled our page views within 6 weeks. effective indeed.

we are powering our analytics using webtrends which is something we surely couldn’t afford unless i worked for the company. using our open api we are caching the sites metrics on the home page every 24 hours. we could tune the bitch to be closer to realtime but that would bog things down like a mofo. 24 hours is suffice.

so what’s the value you ask? we don’t know and we don’t really care. we are setting arbitrary goals and aiming for them just to see how far we can take this. and i will tell you what – we are far from tired and far from bored.

congrats scott. you are the man making things happen. don’t kill yourself on your new bike.

next goal: 100k/mo by the end of the year. we can do it. tell your friends. hide your kids. hide your wife.

my ignite new orleans presentation

mr. diggles — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:30:46 +0000

this was the presentation i gave at ignite new orleans a handful of weeks back.

the concept is each speaker gets 5 minutes to talk about something they are passionate about. you have to prepare a powerpoint presentation that consists of 20 slides and they automatically advance every 15 seconds. my topic was conspiracy is more normal than normal and i went through all of the primary shit. i really enjoyed working on this.

unfortunately in the video you can’t see the slides. either way, here is the powerpoint presentation that went with it.

here is another view from the back of the room:

most people at work still say hi.

webtrends segments on the ipad

mr. diggles — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 18:14:53 +0000

i don’t talk much about what i do at webtrends or what we do as a company. but i will share this with you: we do really cool shit.

we launched a thing called segments today and the video above shows how the software works on the ipad. the guy showing the process is ryan parr. he was responsible for the front end coding of the application and is a standards slut and is talented as fok.

i could explain what the product actually does but i think you will get the most info on our website – webtrends segments

ignite nola as in new orleans

mr. diggles — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 07:16:12 +0000

i spilled my guts at ignite in new orleans, louisiana last night. it went well and i had a positive response. i could not have fit any more content in 5 minutes. i will work on getting the video.

network redux = outstanding service

mr. diggles — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:37:53 +0000

i work for webtrends and we work with network redux for our blog network hosting solution. i have history with bluehost and media temple and as of late i have not been too pleased or impressed. i was tipped off by justin kistner to consider a local outfit and it was a great suggestion.

check out there site here and migrate your stuff

and yes people, i still think nasa is a farce.

matt mullenweg: the creator of wordpress

mr. diggles — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:16:05 +0000

this weekend webtrends hosted wordcamp which is a conference that focuses on everything wordpress.

well, since i work at webtrends and i am slut for wordpress i had to stop in. especially because the creator of wordpress was speaking at the event.

his name is matt mullenweg and he is 25. i chatted with him for a few minutes and i was impressed by his demeanor. all smiles and all positive. i shook his hand violently thanking him for what he has done for the open source community but also my person journey in web development. i asked him to make out and he declined so i requested some gang signs instead. what a sport.

check matt out on wikipedia

check out matt’s blog

and a special shout out to justin kistner for lining up the webtrends hosting piece and being such an advocate for wordpress in general.

miley cyrus spotted ‘full-on making out’ – slut

mr. diggles — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:00:44 +0000

much has happened since i last visited this sacred land. the land of the blog.

i promise to selfishly gush about my journey over the last few months as time goes on. but for now i want to point out 2 things immediately.

ONE))) i currently took a new job which i am really pumped about. i am officially working for webtrends as the new senior manager web marketing. while this may be my first tango with corporate america i have had in some time, i have been presented with the opportunity to change that traditional stigma within this company – at least in my role. i mean really… they can’t be too stuffy if they hired a guy who used jonbenet as a selling point. snarf snarf. – a special mention to justin kistner for paving the opportunity.

they have assured me i will not need a tie. thank you jesus. however i did wear one for the frye wedding.

TWO))) i have consciously had to force myself not to post on my blog. i needed a break – but i have seen sooo many things that made me want to share. i felt like gollum – hating myself at times. what inspired me to get back into it? honestly it would have to be this:

i do read cnn quite often. and the last week or so this miley cyrus headline has been at the top for popular news consistently. the headline pissed me off the first time i saw it. now every time i go to the site i can’t help but zone in to that section first to see if it is still at the top. masochistic in a way. - dear miley, i hate you.
the second story is recent but i had to add it as a bonus since it is so strange. fox is worse – the day you scroll beyond the fold and don’t see a boob then they have lost their edge. [insert raised fist shake here]

forever conclusion: i love to hate the news and the social tragedies that surround it. if anything – i will never quit blogging about that. beyond that i do want to inform any readers that may be left out there that i am back and i will stay. so tell your friends and tell your friends to tell their friends… but don’t let your friends friends tell their friends cause we all know they are total assholes.

oh yeah, i can’t leave this momentous occasion without some weird space shit. i am still very much engaged in the 2012 smut. more than ever to be honest. this video below is one of the many gems i have scraped from the darkest corners of the internets.

mind melter!!!!111!1